Life is pretty decieving.
When I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints, someone once said to me, “I would have never guessed that you went through anything.”
He said anything.
I think that everyone has gone through something. Something in their life that has impacted them so strongly that it has created them into the person that they are today.
I follow many people on instagram and discover something new about someone each day. Someone whose life looks “perfect” on their feed. Someone who takes perfect photos, someone who has happy children. There are even those someone’s who literally look like their lives are put together.
But, then you find out that they were in the foster system for five years. You hear a story about how their brother commited suicide as a teenage. You hear, for the first time, about the struggles they have with getting pregnant, or growing up without a dad, or being so poor that there was a point that they didn’t know where their next meal was coming from.
It all becomes so real to you at that moment.
Life is real.
These people are real.
Problems are real.
The world has become so much more open to showing their messy house on camera, or admitting that sometimes they forget to pack their kids a healthy lunch and give them oreos for dinner. Society is trying hard to break the stigma of perfection and show that sometimes it’s okay to be mediocre. And I love it. I have felt so much more acceptance into the world and way less pressure to be perfect.
There is still so much more though that people are not sharing.
The deeper things.
People know that I suck at making dinner and can probably assume that I have a messy bathroom right now. They can look at my Instagram stories and see that I’m pretty much a lonely loser. They can also see that I go to church. That I have an amazing husband. That I have a job that makes my heart swell. I have a dog that is absolutely adorable. I have parents that love me and sisters that are my best friends.
My life looks freaking great.
And it is.
And so are a lot of other people’s lives out there.
But, for most of us, it wasn’t always that way.
I grew up in a family where yelling and swearing were our first language. We would punch and hit and kick and beat on one another when there was a disagreement. Holes covered our walls from aggresive fighting, from anger, and because we thought being distructive was “normal”. We colored on walls and when garbage fell on the floor, the thought of picking it up didn’t even cross our minds.
Church? No way. We didn’t do that.
Sometimes my mom and dad would invite us, but the amount of memories I have of me laying in bed and saying “no” is endless. I hated that place.
My dad was a drug addict and alcoholic. My mom had her own issues that came from being married to an addict. I would never shame them for raising us this way because, honestly, I know they didn’t mean to. They wanted more for us and they loved us endlessly, but life sometimes doesn’t go the way our mom’s and dad’s want it to.
We lived off of Taco Time, Hawaiian Punch from a vending machine we rode our bikes to, and the Bishop Storehouse (a food pantry in the LDS church). One year, our church bought us all of our Christmas gifts.
We had the cops called on us often and CPS showed up two too many times. I hated them more than church.
I saw my dad go to jail. I saw my mom go to the hospital. I went with them to the courthouse. I stayed at every aunt and uncle and grandparents house for, sometimes, days on end because being home just wasn’t working.
I saw things that I’m still not even comfortable sharing.
So, how did I go from all of that to where I am now?
Never in a million years would you think the Buchi kids would grow up to serve missions and get married and live happy lives. I don’t think any of our neighbors would have guessed that the parents of these kids would own three houses, attend the temple, be sober and have a shoveled driveway.
I could tell you how we got here, but I would rather save that for another post. It’s a story within itself.
The point of this story: we have gone through something.
You have gone through something.
There are things that I have gone through that you haven’t, there are things that you have gone through that I haven’t.
After sharing my story of growing up wtih this person from my mission, I showed him a picture of my family at the temple.
“I would have never guessed that you went through anything.”
So look at your friends Instagrams, scroll through Facebook, walk into your neighbors perfectly clean house and as you are enjoying their success, try to remember that you don’t know what it took for them to get there.
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ ofLater-day Saints, I have a firm faith in Christ. The church has a series called “His Grace” which talks about these heavy topics of what others have gone through in life to get them where they are. Please take a look at these videos and discover those that have been through your same situations and how they overcame.